I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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