You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
