so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
