For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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