I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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