I'm really into asian looking animals
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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