we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
