The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
