he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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