I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who died my cat blue again?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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