bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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