we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize