I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
