you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
