I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize