I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize