I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
