my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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