I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
