Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
