Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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