I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
