this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
