Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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