is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
