I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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