did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
