TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
