apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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