I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
