You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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