he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
