I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
