If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
