My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
