don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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