You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
