you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
