guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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