There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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