Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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