Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
