Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i think i just lost a toe
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