Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize