Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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