he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
