There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
