ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
