Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
