so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
