You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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