who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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