I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
