So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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