OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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