After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
