Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
