That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
