just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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