And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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