My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Send help, water and tortillas.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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